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<title>Royal Pain in the Ass by SubconPrince (Princely_Indulgences)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24874045">Royal Pain in the Ass</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princely_Indulgences/pseuds/SubconPrince'>SubconPrince (Princely_Indulgences)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>House M.D.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Royalty, Multi, may be nsfw later on, other characters will be tagged as written</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:08:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,533</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24874045</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princely_Indulgences/pseuds/SubconPrince</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of short snippets and stories related to a Royalty AU discussed in the Hilson discord. Original idea mentioned by @chaosbastards on Tumblr! Based on the same ideas, but not directly connected to any timeline.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Greg House/James Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Dirt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What are you growing now?"</p>
<p>House glances up from his spot, spying Wilson leaning over him a bit, curious look on his face. Funny how a prince would care about this sort of thing. Then again, royal duties were unbelievably boring from what he got to observe. </p>
<p>"Best not to tell you. I don't want you getting in trouble with your parents." House says, mischievous glean in his eyes.</p>
<p>Wilson raises a brow. "You aren't going to mess with those poor birds again, are you?"</p>
<p>"If Cameron can catch the rats like she is supposed to, I won't. If she doesn't, well, I can't exactly test anything on a person." He pauses, smirking a bit. "At least, not without a pardon from the prince-"</p>
<p>"Absolutely not." Wilson cuts him off, chuckling but a tad bit concerned by how genuine House sounds. "I may dislike a lot of people, but not enough to justify that."</p>
<p>"Tch. Too much of a good boy to express your feelings." House says, directing his attention towards whatever sort of poisonous plant he had managed to breed this time. He doesn't have to even look at Wilson to know that he is trying to decide to be insulted, or laugh it off. Seeing as he would have said something by now if it were the former...</p>
<p>Wilson shakes his head, and chuckles. "I uphold myself the way a prince is supposed to. If I were to nonchalantly express hatred towards everyone that bothered me, the most powerful citizens would be tripping over themselves to start some sort of riot."</p>
<p>"Sounds like fun to me. Someone needs to say something to them."</p>
<p>"Surprisingly, I wouldn't consider people calling for my head on a spike fun."</p>
<p>House rolls his eyes, patting at the dirt at the base of the plant. "If they react that badly, they're out of their minds. They can talk down on everyone else, they can't be that unaware of how unpleasant they are." Even as he says that, House knows that they really are that full of themselves, or dumb, or both. He doesn't envy Wilson in regards to any sort of gatherings and other duties.</p>
<p>"They would be, but it wouldn't stop them." Wilson says, sighing a bit, watching House stand. It was always nice to come out here and speak to him in his free time. He often found himself silently watching him work, fascinated by it. </p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say." House says, walking past Wilson and patting him on his shoulder. Getting dirt all over his nice shirt. Wilson gasps, looking at House in surprise, causing the gardener to laugh. "Don't be so uptight, it makes you annoying."</p>
<p>Wilson brushes the dirt away best he can, knowing full well he is going to have to change before his parents see him. He tries to glare at House, but there is no true malice behind it. Being around someone who treated him as just a normal friend was something he desperately needed. Yes, he most certainly enjoyed the attention, and there were times that House tested his luck with his unprofessional behavior, but he'd be a liar if he said it didn't keep his ego in check.</p>
<p>Still, sometimes his ego came out on top.</p>
<p>"You got my shirt dirty."</p>
<p>"Sorry. Here." House pats the other shoulder. "There. Now it is even. A fashion statement."</p>
<p>"<b>House.</b>"</p>
<p>The gardener pauses, shuddering slightly. It was rare for Wilson to actually address him in such a serious tone. "Yes?"</p>
<p>"Since you have decided to make a mess, you'll be the one in charge of cleaning it."</p>
<p>"Excuse me?"</p>
<p>"You will be responsible for doing laundry tonight."</p>
<p>House sputters a bit, but a Look from Wilson makes him stop. "... Of course, Prince Wilson."</p>
<p>Wilson smirks a bit, enjoying seeing the other man be quick to bend under his thumb. Far more so than he should, but he won't dare admit it to himself.</p>
<p>Which is a shame, because House really wishes he would. Sure, he loved messing with Wilson, but he did enjoy seeing the prince embrace the confidence and power hidden underneath. </p>
<p>Not that he will ever say that out loud.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Exchange</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>House has to collect flowers for a ball.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>House grumbles as he listens to another servant ramble off another set of requests for foreign plants and decorations for this big ball that they held every year. A big, fanciful affair to invite all the wealthy of not just this country, but others as well, including royalty because of course there were. They needed a place to mingle where they could also show off. Have a beautiful place to pretend they're great and maybe marry off their son.</p>
<p>These parties could be fun, but it isn't like he is invited, instead sent to help keep things looking nice throughout the nice. And even then, the mood would be killed by the fact that he can't stand most of the people there. </p>
<p>When he has been told what to expect in collection and exchange, he is dismissed to "go clean himself up". As if his dirty clothes are insulting when he is going to be collecting more plants. Not ones to be planted, but still, it's ridiculous.</p>
<p>But he does what he is told without audible complaint, because he isn't in a mood to create a hassle for once in his life. Mostly because he could let it loose among the florists coming today. He knew them both, and while they never seemed to have many complaints about their own home, they were at least understanding.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>"Hello!" The man of the duo calls, voice heavy with an accent that made it hard to understand sometimes. Even though he was more learned of other languages than the girl, his cousin. "How are you?"</p>
<p>"Same as ever." House grunts, immediately going to look over the plants as if they were more interesting. They aren't, but he isn't nearly as peppy as these two are, and it's easier to focus on the plants. </p>
<p>"Ah, I see." The other man sounds a bit disappointed, but shakes it off. This is how House was.</p>
<p>"We worked extra hard to collect these this year." The girl speaks up, focusing hard on making sure her grasp of the language isn't broken. "The princess back home has been using flowers for more and more things lately, almost wringing us dry."</p>
<p>"I think she is using them because she is lonely." The man says, and House raises a brow.</p>
<p>"Uh huh. Doesn't she have a whole kingdom for that?"</p>
<p>The other two florists exchange a silent look, something uneasy, and House can feel the tension and decides he wants nothing to do with it. He literally could not care less if a princess faraway is lonely.</p>
<p>Unless she is brought to the party for marrying purposes, but he can't recall her ever being one looking for love.</p>
<p>"Anyways." House pipes up, breaking the silence. "Seems everything I was expecting is here. I got some stuff for you two waiting in the garden."</p>
<p>"Oh, good!" The man claps his hands together. He loved collecting flowers from all over, and House always had some interesting extras. Sure, maybe they weren't the most... legal, or were meant for malicious uses, but those plants were just as beautiful as the flowers! He had his own little collection of House Plants by this point.</p>
<p>The three walk towards the garden, chit chatting about this and that, despite House never being one for small talk. It was so... boring, but it was a bit more interesting when he got glimpses at the lives of other nations.</p>
<p>Eventually, they get to where they were going, and House has pulled aside some boxes with plants lined up neat and pretty. Of course there are plenty of native flowers, but sprinkled in are things that don't really meet the beauty standards for display, and some that are not flowers at all.</p>
<p>The other man pulls some gloves from his apron and slips them on, before leaning down to poke around to see what is there. "I see you have improved the growth of these..." He comments, gesturing at a flower that gives off a strange scent, "Oh! And these are new! Are they-"</p>
<p>"Yup." House nods, knowing the answer to the question. "Instructions for them on at the bottom of the pots." He couldn't help but smirk a bit, a feeling of pride at someone recognizing his genius without their first reactions being "why?" or fear. No offense to Wilson, of course, he had his reasons to be concerned. Not that House would ever do anything. </p>
<p>The girl shifts on her feet, a bit uncomfortable. Yes, she knows that House likes to grow poisonous things, and no, she doesn't like her cousin amassing a collection of them, but she knew that it was better in their hands than in the hands of nefarious peoples. </p>
<p>"These are wonderful. Thank you!" The man says, reaching out and grasping on of House's hands to shake it. House grunts, but returns the shake, having known it was going to come and already wearing his own gloves because of it.</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah. Help me with moving these, won't you?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Shoutout to anyone who can guess what two fandoms I'm referencing in this chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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